In what can only be described as the opposite of a meeting of minds, Coleen Rooney and Rebekah Vardy are getting together for another round of mediation.
The first failed, naturellement. The aim is to reach a resolution in the Wagatha Christie dispute, and avoid a full on court case.
If you’re not familiar with the details here, the first sentence of the explanation tells you everything you need to know about the level of ridiculousness: Coleen Rooney was upset some information she shared on social media didn’t remain private.
She managed to find time in her busy schedule to set an online trap to identify the frenemy snitching her secrets, and then announced to the world that it was………. Rebekah Vardy’s account.
Rebekah Vardy promptly sued Coleen for………. libel.
If this does end up in court, they might as well tape the case paperwork to the ceiling, because the judge is going to spend so much time rolling their eyes.
This pointless spat seemed like a waste of everyone’s lives long before the world exploded – now it’s close to offensive.
Surely everybody – regardless of their personal experiences during the pandemic, or their status – has had one or two sobering moments of clarity over the last 10months. A realisation of what truly matters. A gaining of perspective.
Not these spoilt madams in their mock Tudor mansions, though.
They’re still ploughing full steam ahead with the case of boohoo she said a thing about me and I didn’t like it.
However, the forthcoming mediation leaves us all in a quandary.
Whenever peace is an option, it’s automatic to hope for it. But in the matter of Rooney V Vardy, maybe not so fast……….
After all, these petty women are clearly prepared to provide some entertainment and distraction at a time when we seriously, desperately need entertaining and distracting.
It would be churlish not to pull up a seat and take in every single second of the salacious spectacle.
These celebrities are going to perform for the troops, to raise morale.
Obviously, there will be no real winner here. You can’t even pick a side to root for, because it’s Sophie’s Choice in reverse – like when Amanda Holden and Phillip Schofield went at it.
I wonder if it’s possible for the judge to rule in favour of neither of them? A high scoring draw.
It’s tempting to suggest their heads are then knocked together, but there’s a strong chance neither would notice unless it messed up their hair. Better to hand down a custodial sentence.
